“There aren’t many more shopping days until Christmas.” “The biological clock is ticking.” “How many cats do you have?” These sayings seem unrelated, but they all have probably been said to someone who wants romantic love but just hasn’t found it yet. Don’t let others push you into a desperate love relationship.
Love is many things. It can feel like dancing on air or sinking into the darkest ocean. You can thank God one day for that person lying next to you and which you had never laid eyes on them the next. And this occurs in committed relationships!
You would think that love would be easier to find since it has so many recognizable faces. But, for some, it has become the elusive stranger who you only see in shadows but never full on.
The goading of others and our own thoughts can lead us to grab for anything that even resembles a love relationship. This is bad in so many ways.
Hold On
Isn’t it just the way that things happen? When you are denied something, you see it everywhere. It doesn’t have to be Valentine’s Day for you to notice every couple on the face of the earth. It seems that love is in the air for everyone but you.
It’s enough to make you cry all the time but don’t lose hope. True love is not something you can pick up at the corner store. It takes time and the right person to make it work. A good number of those people you saw holding hands will be single again in less than a year. Everyone is not looking for a lasting relationship but you can’t tell that from watching cuddling couples on the street.
Love can elude us when we try to find it. It’s interesting but it usually sneaks up on you when you least expect it. Why?
People can tell when you are desperate. It’s like an unpleasant pheromone. Potential mates will run for cover. It’s not that they don’t like you, but desperation can send the wrong message and scare them way.
A desperate love situation can be bad for you too. People pray on those who will accept anything that looks like love so they can make a connection with someone.
Turn the Tables
Instead of desperately looking for love, cultivate the qualities in yourself that you want in a potential mate. Sometimes, the best course is to ignore your heart’s longings and learn to love yourself first.
This seems like a trivial point but consider the Law of Attraction for a moment. You attract to you what you give off. If you are stingy or mean, you will attract the same kinds of people. If you want love, learn to show love for yourself.
Work to stretch yourself. Become emotionally available if you are not already. Learn to be social and get comfortable with yourself for who you are. When you like who you are, others will too. And, you want to find someone who loves you for you.
Love will find you one day. In the meantime, love on yourself.
“Be careful what you set your heart upon – for it will surely be yours.”
- James A. Baldwin
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