The Big Three
We are not talking about Larry, Moe and Curly although you might love them. We are talking about philos, eros and agape. These refer to brotherly love, physical or erotic love and unconditional love, respectively. You may have heard the terms used before. While all love is not the same, they do share the one thing – the giving of yourself to another.
Philos – This is how you feel about someone that you are close to, like a friend. Friendships offer support and a sense of purpose. According to a study done at UCLA published in 2002 on friendships among women, friendships fill the gaps in our life and shore us up in emotionally hard times. People (men and women) with friends can cut their risk of death by 60 percent over those who have no friends to speak of.
Feelings of this type can compel someone to help a stranger in need. People rush to the aid of those trapped in a car or offer food to those who have none. Helping your fellow man because there is a human kinship also falls into this category.
Eros – When people speak of love they automatically think of this type. But, many people find these love relationships to be one of the hardest to maintain. We are so much harder on the person that we know or want to know intimately than we are on our friends or even strangers. Sometimes love can come with so many conditions: Are they tall enough thin enough, pretty enough, rich enough, influential enough, smart enough and sexy enough? We often feel inferior in these relationships because we don’t believe we measure up to preconceived standards.
Agape – A parent and a child often experience this relationship. It is the unconditional type of acceptance that we all crave from at least one person in our lives. It grounds us and can give us a sense of purpose. In essence, these connections are the “home” we can return to when things get rough.
Finding Love Everyday
To experience these types of love in your life on a regular basis, look around. Identify those who exemplify each kind for you and spend time enjoying that experience.
Spend time cuddling with your partner. Being sensual is more than just making love. It is experiencing a moment with that person using all of your senses.
Visit with a friend. Hang out and talk a bit. Share a common interest and have a good time.
Find time to spend with family each day. Kids grow up fast and will be living their lives before you know it. Get to know them and accept them for who they are.
These are just a few ways that you can love and be loved each and every day of your life.
A day without love is a day without life.
- George Van Valkenburg
1 comment:
This article is great. We should be grateful to experience love.. from your husband or wife, brother, sister, mother, father and friends. Thank you for this very inspirational article.
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