We use these words in our wedding vows but do we really know what they mean? Love is a many-splendored thing, but how can you convey it for a lifetime to your spouse?
Love and all its funny affects
What is love really? People have written about it in poems, plays and novels. Usually it is expressed as a feeling. Unfortunately, it is that feeling that has led to many misunderstandings about love.
Just think about the differences between a younger couple and an older one. A younger couple might listen to some of the stories from the older two and scoff. “I’d never stay around if that happened.” “That’s not really love.”
We all have preconceived notions about what constitutes love and marriage. And, we vehemently stick to them no matter what anyone else says. Often, it is these same notions that can end the relationship as well unless you widen your view of love.
Couples that have been and still are in love after many years will likely tell you that it is not about the feeling but what it compels you to do. The feeling is just the beginning of your existence together. True love is a choice.
Honoring that choice means a lot of things. You will invest time in making the relationship what you both want it to be. This can mean putting the needs of your spouse before your own as well as making sacrifices. That line in the vows, “for better or for worse; for richer or poorer; in sickness and in health” can be a doozy.
The Testament of Love
The testament of love is in the “test” that it is often put through in a marriage. Throughout it all, try to remind each other that you are still there. How do you show your love for your partner?
- Tell them – Words are highly useful and underrated. Just saying “I love you” each day and meaning it can help your partner bear the weight of whatever they face outside your door.
- Speak their language – According to Dr. Gary Chapman, there are 5 love languages. Learn the one that pertains to your spouse and use it. As you show love to them, it will encourage them to also discover and use your chosen way of feeling appreciated.
- Spend time with them – A “disconnect” can occur when we spend time with everyone and everything else but our spouse. Snuggle on the couch and watch a movie; take a shower together; cook dinner together or take a walk together. Small moments add up to big feelings.
- Speak the truth in love – Your opinion carries a lot of weight with your spouse. Use your words wisely and not to hurt but uplift.
There is more to “love” than just a feeling.
“Love doesn’t make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.”
- Franklin Jones
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