Reading your Partner’s Body Language

Sometimes, the impression you give has more to do with what you don’t say than what you do say. Body language is an important part of the cues we give each other as couples. Tuning in to the way the other moves, can help you head off a lot of problems early on.

What is he/she really saying?

In order to know how to respond to your partner it is necessary to know a little about body language. Often we are slow to voice our feelings, especially men. But, it is not weakness to express how you feel to the one you love. Besides, body language can help you gain brownie points with your spouse. Here’s how:

• Noticing her chilly reception, can prompt a male partner to ask how her day went and offer to listen if something is wrong.
• When he sits on the other end of the couch, a female partner can ask him if something is wrong or what she can do to make him feel better.

It’s nice to have someone “sense” your mood without having to tell them that something is wrong. It can even be seen as a sign that you are getting to know each other pretty well. Partners appreciate that kind of attention.

So, let’s get down to it. What are some of the signs that things are not as they seem?

Body Language Hints

1. Crossed arms – This is a classic sign that you are closing yourself off from others. It doesn’t have to be something that they have done. Maybe you are not ready to speak about a certain topic. Your partner can respond by tabling the discussion until later. On a first date, the other person could be protecting themselves emotionally until they are sure you are right for them.
2. Sitting posture – When you are listening or talking to someone, it is normal to sit with your knees and legs facing the person. If the other person is distracted or not interested, they will turn their body away.
3. Head and eye movement – This is one that people always talk about. We want you to get it right. When you ask someone a question, they may look up and to the right or up and to the left. According to scientists, looking up and to the right signals that the person is recalling a past memory. Looking up and to the left signifies that they are lying; in effect, making up the response they are about to tell you. Also, answering someone with your head hung low and eyes averted could signal a measure of guilt, lack of confidence or fear concerning the topic you are discussing.
4. Rigidity – When a person goes stiff when you hold their hand or try to hug them, they don’t particularly want to be touched at that time for whatever reason. Follow the action up with discussion about what the problem might be.

Even if we don’t voice how we are feeling, the body says it all.

“She walks in Beauty, like the night

Of cloudless climes and starry skies,

And all that’s best of dark and bright

Meet in her aspect and her eyes…”

-          Lord Byron


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