Love, Honor & Cherish: Cherish?

Some vows say “cherish” and some say “obey”. They are just words until you act on them. Before you say them, we are going to help you know what they mean. If you have already said them, you can learn how to live up to the oath you took.

When you cherish something you usually set it in high regard. We cherish our prized possessions. For some men, it’s their car. You keep it looking good and take care of it. Whenever anyone else is around it, you make sure they know how you like it cared for.

People cherish many things in life, but many are inanimate objects. What about cherishing people? That is what wedding vows are asking you to do. In this day and age, the word may be outdated but the sentiment is not.

Treat each like you want to be treated

The Bible had it right. One of God’s greatest commandments, mentioned in St. Matthew 22: 39, is to love others as you love yourself. In the sanctity of marriage that means treating your spouse as you treat yourself.

So then, cherishing your spouse is a direct reflection of how you feel about yourself. If there are issues with where you stand in your relationship, take a look within. How are you treating your spouse? Often, if we don’t feel “cherished” we won’t likely show our spouse that level of respect.

It all starts with you. Put the shoe on the other foot. Can you honestly say that you would be happy if you were talked to or shown appreciation the same way that you demonstrate it to your spouse? If the answer is no, then you have some soul searching to do.

Many couples take each other for granted and that leads to hard feelings that turn to granite over time. Cherishing another is not about giving them material things but about the actions you perform that money can’t buy.

Cherishing your Spouse

1. See the bigger picture – We can all say things out of anger or annoyance from time to time. Maybe you snap at your spouse because you’ve had a bad day at work. Instead of snapping back, ask what the problem could be since the action is probably uncharacteristic for your husband or wife. That can lead to a healthy discussion about what is truly wrong instead of a shouting match about the snapping incident.
2. Reduce temptation – Whatever it may be – financial, sexual or otherwise – you are less motivated to give in when you think of the feelings of your spouse. You may also be less tempted to deal dishonestly with your spouse when you hold them in high regard.
3. Nurture them – Nurture can go a long way to improving the life of a person. You can nurture their interests to help them grow in social ways and in their career. It brings about mutual growth in a relationship to know that your partner believes and is willing to support you.

Cherishing your spouse involves giving them what they need to survive and thrive.

“Your words are my food, your breath my wine. You are everything to me.”

-          Sarah Bernhardt

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