Love, Honor & Cherish: Honor?

Marriage vows are thought to be sacred, but that is of no consequence if you don’t apply their meaning in your relationship. So, what does it mean to “honor” your spouse and are you doing it right now?

Honor?

The word comes from the Latin, “honos” or honoris,” meaning a quality of worthiness and respectability exemplified by someone. You mostly hear it mentioned in conjunction with military service. A person who is honorable is often viewed as above reproach, trustworthy, faithful and just in all respects. It is only an ideal and one that is often hard to live up to. It can describe fairness and honesty when dealing with others.

It is that last line that interests us as we discuss marriage. Many of us have never thought too much about how we would honor our spouse. Mostly it’s because that was part of the line in our vows that we didn’t make up or ask to be included. Still, it is there for some reason. It must be important to relationships.

Honor is often like integrity: the measure of it is best seen in what you do when no one is looking. With honor, it’s seen when your spouse isn’t around.

Ways to Honor your Spouse

We want you to make good on that vow you made. So here are some suggestions for ways to do just that.

1. Speak well of your spouse in public – Don’t say anything about your spouse that you wouldn’t say to their face. For instance, talking to a colleague you may remark, “My husband can’t fix a toilet to save his life.” It seems like a harmless statement, but how would your spouse respond if he heard it? Usually people are saying much worse or more embarrassing things about their significant others. Any faults should remain between you and your spouse. Remember they are not the only one who has some.
2. Speak truth to your spouse – If you have a concern about something, tell your spouse the truth. There is a way you can say things, that reflects tact tempered with love. But, don’t sugar-coat your words.
3. Consider your spouse’s opinion – When making decisions, consider what your spouse has to say. They are the other half of your partnership. Show that you value their opinion.
4. Respect your spouse – Have you ever seen a friend speak rudely to another friend’s wife or husband without a word being said to counter it? Your spouse is a part of you. Demand respect from your friends and others when it comes to how they speak to and about your spouse.
5. Show gratitude – Just because they are your spouse doesn’t mean they don’t want to be thanked for what they do for you. Thank them in word and deed privately, plus affirming them in front of others.

Treat your spouse as you would want others to treat them.

“Love is a fabric that never fades, no matter how often it is washed in the water of adversity and grief.”

-          Source Unknown

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